Redeemed.

The reason I haven't written much of worth for many years is because I want to write it all, and write it perfectly, when I do.

Instead, I've seen my time, physical ability, and mental capacity slip away more and more. And I'm not that even old and decrepit. It's just gone.

Right now, my body gives me about 15 minutes until the arms go out. I've already worked for three hours tonight. So, I'm in pain, but I want to write, because it's about time I find a way to write a little bit each day about what matters — especially if eight hours of my days are spent writing about the likes of Kevin Garnett, Derek Jeter, and Tim Tebow. (Not a bad life, but still.)

If I had to describe today, I would term it as "redeemed." Now, I've long understood redemption in its essence (as what it means for salvation) and in the grand sense (how God is fixing this world and making everything glorious bit by bit).

But God has also been showing me that even smaller things can be redeemed, like days or moments or even crappy stories.

I've been compelled to start actually walking with God — that is, living moment by moment and asking Him to help my unbelief in each instance of the day. And in that world, I am only reminded more and more what a mess I am. But rather than considering the day a wash, I've instead started asking God to redeem it, like Galatians talks of redeeming our time. God can turn the tide, and He can bring goodness.

God has turned many bad days into good ones. Second winds and bursts of energies are not accidents, and neither is the renewed attitude that comes when I acknowledge Him (Proverbs 3:5-6 isn't just a cliche), grab a hold of Him with my hip out of joint before sunrise and ask Him to bless me (Jacob!), and overall just take a deep breath and ask Him to redeem my moments the same way He redeems thoughts and lives.

I have had many good second halves of days recently, and better yet, now that I'm looking, I see God working all the time.

And there's hope that, if God can redeem everything from a moment to a day to a lifetime, that He can redeem a writer who has never quite been satisfied with a world and a work that has often struck her as unredeemable.